After Miss Julie - After HIV

I unexpectedly found myself with a full day on Saturday. First some wonderful clients in NJ, then visiting with a friend in Peekskill, then visiting my daughter Jess in NYC. It was a bit of a gloomy day, and as I wound my way up to Peekskill via Rt 9A/9/9A (?), I found myself searching the dial for appropriate music. I settled on Jonathan Schwartz on WNYC 93.9, with Saturdays With Sinatra program, which fit the bill perfectly. The Sinatra performance that struck me most during the drive was "The House I Live In", about being an American, and how we help each other, the strength we have as a people, recorded at MSG in 1974. During one of the commercial breaks, a play called After Miss Julie was advertised.

After Peekskill, I skipped down the Saw Mill to Manhattan to visit Jess. We we wandered around midtown, 42nd Street, through the throngs, and found ourselves in front of one of the Broadway theaters just before dinnertime, and were able to buy rush (inexpensive, last minute) tickets for $21.50 each, have time for a bit of dinner and back in plenty of time for After Miss Julie. What a nice coincidence. The American Airlines Theater hosts the Roundabout Theater Company. http://www.roundabouttheatre.org
/aat/index.htm?gclid=CKbH2b6Ikp4CFUlo5QodhlYsoA After Miss Julie, based on Strindberg's Miss Julie, and written by Patrick Marber, is set in 1945 England, complete with class stratification and period music. Down and dirty little story about how class affects life, and worth checking out.

It is also one of the two periods of the year that Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids solicits donations for HIV/AIDs research. Give it up - we are making progress but have quite a way to go. Consider making a donation or shopping their online auction. It was interesting to me the parallel between class stratification then and now, weaving in the Sinatra songs, and the access that class gives to medications for HIV treatment, as well as the people who are the fastest growing population to contract HIV, improverished women of color. http://www.broadwaycares.org/Page.aspx?pid=195 Help stamp out AIDS.

On the Bus - Or - Be Careful of the Bus You Board

I went to Disneyworld last week. Correction - I was in Disneyworld for a corporate retreat. The weather was nice. No complaints. I had a lovely room, great weather. But lets backtrack for a moment. Our organization had made special arrangements for Disney's Magical Express, a bus service that picks up your bags from baggage claim and takes you to the front door of the resort you will make home for the next few days. Sounds great, yes? And mostly, it is. It is extremely well organized. Everyone is very pleasant and Disney understands crowd control. Did I say crowd?

While still at the airport terminal, I was told to go to a special part of the terminal to board the bus. There were hundreds of people on line before me, however, in the usual Disney fashion, the crowd control was exceptional and they were able to put us all on lines for buses going to the individual resorts as fast as you could say Jiminy Cricket.

I found myself getting into that waiting on line mindset that happens when you really don't have much choice, unless you want to grab a cab and pay the $60 or so. I could have done that, but I had already resigned myself to the line. First clue to giving it up to a greater power - in this case, Disney.

On the bus itself, a version of Radio Disney plays. First Shania Twain, then The Police, then Brickhouse, of all things, then Michael Jackson. I was a bit confused by the musical selections, but figured it was the something for everyone version of music programming. I think that the confusion was a form of relaxing the mind to get it ready for the total Disney immersion. As an hypnotherapist, I know that when we occupy the conscious mind, the subconscious opens up and becomes more receptive. I could name a thousand things at Disney that could put you in that receptive mind-frame. Be careful of the bus you board, and what you become receptive to.

Weight Loss and Social X-Rays

Everyone wants to know how to lose weight. Well, that's what they say. First question - do you really need to lose weight or are you unhappy with your internal image of your body? If you really need to lose weight, let's talk about it. If you are fitting in your clothes nicely, they are a reasonable size and you still just don't like the way you look in the mirror, chances are it is a body image situation. I recently attended a 50th birthday party for a friend. My friend is a normal sized woman. She exercises, takes care of herself, etc. No problem there. However, a number of her friends are very thin.

When these thin friends realized that I am a hypnotherapist who works with people to lose weight, they became my new best friend. "Please tell me how to lose weight... It is such a struggle for me....Weight has been an issue my entire life, etc."

I empathize. It is clear that this is a priority for the women I was speaking with. They place that issue first and foremost in their minds. It is the beacon that lights their way, and the pain that dogs at their heels. They are all beautiful, but feel like the need help. At first, I felt that they did not need hypnotherapy, psychotherapy or nutritional counseling. After all, they seem to have it under control.

Interestingly, though, when I discussed this with one of my daughters, she had a very insightful perspective. She suggested that maybe they do need some type of counseling. Perhaps their eating could be disordered. Clearly their body image is distorted. Their problem might not be binge eating but it certainly could be a severe lack of self-esteem or obsessive thoughts of some type that drive them toward an impossible or unhealthy perfection.

As we flip through the glossy magazines or watch those very thin social x-rays (Tom Wolfe's term for ultra-thin society women - personified by socialite Nan Kempner, above - they disappear when they turn sideways), let's try to keep in mind that we are beautiful, that beauty is so much more than our flesh. Beauty is in the tone of our voice, the swing of our step, the way we carry ourselves, and, so significantly, in the way we treat others and ourselves.

Be gentle, loving and kind to yourself and to others and you are beautiful.

I Still Love My Ovaries

Talk about shock value. I visited with my doctor last week, who suggested I might want to cut out my ovaries. "We just go in through your belly button and snip snip!" What? Did I hear you right? It was that abrupt. She seemed so enthusiastic that I wanted to say to her - "hey, why don't we do it together? We could go get waffles at IHop afterward - make a day of it! Fun!"

Honestly, I am not ready for this. I consider myself a young woman. My mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer at 53. I am 50. So this is what I said to the doctor. "Well then, lets do a BRACA blood test." Now this is a little more reasonable. Let's give it a whirl. I stuck out my arm and the nurse took a couple vials of blood to whisk away to Myriad Labs. Just for the record, my mother did not have BRCA 1 or 2, but another fun variant that the genetic counselor says that 10 years after her death still is not a variant that indicates any increased risk for cancer.

I remember telling my mom at the time that we should call it Jeanne's Variant, after her. She did not find it too amusing. We still are not sure why Mom ended up first with breast then with the ovarian cancer that she struggled with and eventually succumbed to at the age of just 61 in 1999.

There is still so much we don't know about ovarian cancer. If cutting out my ovaries is the right thing to do, I'll do it. Jury is still out.

Thank you for smoking

I loved that movie. Did you see it? I just thought of it again recently as Aaron Eckhart is starring in a new movie with Jennifer Aniston, this time a love story.

I love smoking cigarettes but I know they are bad for me, therefore, I do not smoke. I would like to smoke, and think fondly of Burgess Meredith in Grumpier Old Men, as he complains about smoking for the vast majority of his long life (at about age 95) with no negative ramifications. Lovely fairytale, yes? I wish it were true.

I have been sharing my love of smoking with my clients who want to quit, and they tell me it gives them hope. I tell them that they don't have to quit all at once, that they can take their time, and that gives them hope too.

Eventually, my clients quit smoking. Some quit right away. They all quit eventually. And as Burgess Meredith's character in Grumpier Old Men found out, God did not forget about him. Let's be gentle with ourselves, but let's stick around here for a while.

Fertility and Honoring the Beauty of the Female Body

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard my sisters, daughters, friends and coworkers disparage their female bodies during their period. The curse, the rag, my time of month, the pain, the agony, the suffering. depression, inconvenience, etc. While I know there are some disorders that are aggravated by these hormonal times, many are gently elusive to explanation.

MD , OB Gyn and author, Christianne Northrup, says that years ago, when it was that time of the month, women took to bed for three days to rest and take care of themselves. What an amazing idea. Can you imagine being able to do this? Maybe this is the reason the body yells so loudly. It may be telling us, I need to rest – pay attention to me, give me a break. Acknowledge my existence. Honor me.

It is no surprise, then, when our bodies tell us, well, if you don’t like this, why should I do the other things I am made to do – conceive, carry a fetus/child/fertilized egg – when you curse my existence?

Years ago, when first joining a women’s meditation circle, I learned of another possibility, another concept – honoring all phases of the body and its functioning. I was already blessed with my two daughters, but suffered from cramps and depression during my period.

I gave it a try. During my next cycle, I welcomed the cramps and pain and thanked my body for working so well. I honored my physical and emotional state, let myself rest, cry, had that bit of chocolate and refrained from getting angry with my body.

The most amazing thing happened…my painful cramps subsided. My body no longer had to get my attention in order for me to notice it. Simple as that.

I had a client who had not had her period for over two years. We worked together using hypnotherapy two times. She told me that she had been to a number of doctors who could find nothing physically wrong with her. Doctors put her on Provera hormone trials to try and kick-start her cycle. Nothing worked. She shared with me that she had promised an (by this point) ex-lover that she would not become pregnant. She wanted the relationship so badly that she stopped ovulating. And it stayed that way for two years until we worked together.

She was, in the present time, in a new relationship and now wanted to conceive a child. She was very frustrated and at the end of her rope. I was her last hope. Hypnosis was her last chance. FYI, she was 32 years old.

After we began to talk to her body, release her promise to her former lover and honor her body, her body began to flow as intended. She considered it a miracle, but to a hypnotherapist, it is just another day in the mind/body/spirit realm.

If I can leave you with anything today, please know that I am not saying what your dad or your honey says “it is all in your head”. However, our minds are very powerful instruments that can help us create a reality that supports the life we want and deserve. That might include a child, an easier menstrual period or gentler life. Honor the beauty that is the female body.

Make Something Tasty Today - I Command It!

I love to cook and love healthy food. Here's a great recipe I adapted from two of my favorite chefs, Ina Garten (The Barefoot Contessa) and Maria McQuillan, my daughter Julia's best friend, Melina's mom. Maria makes the best beef empanadas, unequivocally, though I have not yet been brave enough to ask for the recipe. I am just grateful when a few find their way to my table!

This recipe for Shrimp Ceviche is yummy as a veggie dish too. Hope you enjoy, with love, on this Labor Day!

Ina’s Ceviche with Maria’s twist

Ina contributed the orange and Maria’s secret ingredient is ketchup.

Grate zest of 2 oranges
Juice oranges and reserve juice in a medium bowl

Put in medium bowl
Orange zest (2-3 tablespoons)
1 lb shrimp, cooked, shelled and cut in small pieces (already cooked or boil until just done) – let cool (can substitute 1 package (8-10 oz) extra firm tofu cubed and browned in skillet, drained and cooled until just warm)
2 Tablespoons capers
½ cup finely chopped celery (3 large stalks)
½ cup finely chopped red onion
¼ cup finely chopped cilantro
(you can also cube an avocado and add it too J )


In smaller juice bowl
Combine orange juice (about ½ cup) with 2 tablespoons white wine vinegar or champagne vinegar, 2-4 tablespoons Heinz ketchup. Whisk together with about ½ teaspoon ground pepper and 1 teaspoon salt. Slowly add good olive oil (about ½ cup) and whisk until emulsified
Pour dressing over shrimp, etc and toss. Set aside to marinate a bit and chill. Serve over a bed of lettuce in a dessert cup or bowl or plain from the container.

I always love this part - Eat and enjoy. As my sister Jenn would say; "eat and enjoy, I command it". Jenn is not a demanding person. She loves our language and gets a kick out of those directive statements, like "have a nice day (or I"ll make you have one)", "make this day great (or else)", etc.

Store extra covered in the refrigerator - or I'll come over there!