Give Thanks for Adam Sandler Singing his Thanksgiving Song

When we think of all the things we are thankful for - I always add Adam Sandler to the list...enjoy (sorry for the Tide ad in the front - where is fast forward when we need it?)! And while we are at it - thanks for Charlie Brown and Snoopy too and for TIVO!
http://www.spike.com/video/adam-sandler/2788992

10 Years Since Jeanne

My mom passed away 10 years ago today. As I've talked about in earlier posts, she had breast cancer first, then ovarian cancer. She was only 61. She was first diagnosed at 53. She was a young woman, too young to go. I miss her every day.
Jeanne was one of a kind. If you were talking with her, she would draw you out and talk about everything that was on your mind. You would feel as if someone had finally heard you. I would see this in social situations over and over again. People loved her. This may sound a bit morose, but so many people filled the church at the funeral Mass that we barely fit, and the cars from the church to the cemetery stretched out 1/2 a mile, from hill to hill on Route 17 from Upper Saddle River to Ramsey. It was quite a sight.
Even as she was struggling that last day, she had a definite opinion and sense of dignity that she insisted be respected. She died on hers and my Dad's 42nd wedding anniversary. That morning she said to me, "has your father ordered flowers for our anniversary?...cancel them." Though it was so saddening, that was my mom. She knew she wouldn't be needing them. We even had a little smile about her deliberate decision to cancel, even while we knew why.
The day before she died, she was up in a chair, holding court with me and my siblings at the hospital. I always wanted to bring her food that she liked, but that day she just wanted to laugh and talk. We had a really good visit. Then, I guess, she was done. By the same time the next day, she had left.
My dad, siblings and I are really lucky. She worked hard to make the holidays and our birthdays special. She taught us well how to continue to do this for each other. Spirituality was very important to her, and while we all embrace the spirit in our own way, we all feel comfort in never being alone. In that way, Jeanne will always be with us.

Act As If

I don't usually post other posts in their entirety, but this one seemed especially, well, special. We are all about human connection, but so often we are disappointed because the connection is not quite the way we would hope it to be. Remember that we are all imperfect in our humanity, so we just don't always get it right. However, if you just let go of trying to control the relationship and just work on your part, that is enough. The positive feelings, vibrations, actions dominate and override the negative. Stop reacting and be proactive. Act as if....just give it a try and have patience with yourself.

Daily Law of Attraction Quotation

You don't have to worry about what their vibration is if your vibration is one of connection. Because if your vibration is one of connection -- you're going to dominate the vibration. This is the way you learn your relationships. The thing that most people do not understand, is that you get to control the way you feel, because you get to choose the thoughts you think. Most people think that they only have the option of responding to the circumstances that surround them. And that's what makes them attempt the impossible, which is to control the circumstances around them, which only feeds their feeling of frustration and vulnerability, because it doesn't take very much life experience to discover you can't control all of those circumstances. But you can control your vibration. And when you control your vibration, you've controlled everything that has anything to do with you.
--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in El Paso, TX on Thursday, March 28th, 2002

If you are so inclined, check out the daily blog of Abraham, maintained by Esther and Jerry Hicks at

http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php

After Miss Julie - After HIV

I unexpectedly found myself with a full day on Saturday. First some wonderful clients in NJ, then visiting with a friend in Peekskill, then visiting my daughter Jess in NYC. It was a bit of a gloomy day, and as I wound my way up to Peekskill via Rt 9A/9/9A (?), I found myself searching the dial for appropriate music. I settled on Jonathan Schwartz on WNYC 93.9, with Saturdays With Sinatra program, which fit the bill perfectly. The Sinatra performance that struck me most during the drive was "The House I Live In", about being an American, and how we help each other, the strength we have as a people, recorded at MSG in 1974. During one of the commercial breaks, a play called After Miss Julie was advertised.

After Peekskill, I skipped down the Saw Mill to Manhattan to visit Jess. We we wandered around midtown, 42nd Street, through the throngs, and found ourselves in front of one of the Broadway theaters just before dinnertime, and were able to buy rush (inexpensive, last minute) tickets for $21.50 each, have time for a bit of dinner and back in plenty of time for After Miss Julie. What a nice coincidence. The American Airlines Theater hosts the Roundabout Theater Company. http://www.roundabouttheatre.org
/aat/index.htm?gclid=CKbH2b6Ikp4CFUlo5QodhlYsoA After Miss Julie, based on Strindberg's Miss Julie, and written by Patrick Marber, is set in 1945 England, complete with class stratification and period music. Down and dirty little story about how class affects life, and worth checking out.

It is also one of the two periods of the year that Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids solicits donations for HIV/AIDs research. Give it up - we are making progress but have quite a way to go. Consider making a donation or shopping their online auction. It was interesting to me the parallel between class stratification then and now, weaving in the Sinatra songs, and the access that class gives to medications for HIV treatment, as well as the people who are the fastest growing population to contract HIV, improverished women of color. http://www.broadwaycares.org/Page.aspx?pid=195 Help stamp out AIDS.

On the Bus - Or - Be Careful of the Bus You Board

I went to Disneyworld last week. Correction - I was in Disneyworld for a corporate retreat. The weather was nice. No complaints. I had a lovely room, great weather. But lets backtrack for a moment. Our organization had made special arrangements for Disney's Magical Express, a bus service that picks up your bags from baggage claim and takes you to the front door of the resort you will make home for the next few days. Sounds great, yes? And mostly, it is. It is extremely well organized. Everyone is very pleasant and Disney understands crowd control. Did I say crowd?

While still at the airport terminal, I was told to go to a special part of the terminal to board the bus. There were hundreds of people on line before me, however, in the usual Disney fashion, the crowd control was exceptional and they were able to put us all on lines for buses going to the individual resorts as fast as you could say Jiminy Cricket.

I found myself getting into that waiting on line mindset that happens when you really don't have much choice, unless you want to grab a cab and pay the $60 or so. I could have done that, but I had already resigned myself to the line. First clue to giving it up to a greater power - in this case, Disney.

On the bus itself, a version of Radio Disney plays. First Shania Twain, then The Police, then Brickhouse, of all things, then Michael Jackson. I was a bit confused by the musical selections, but figured it was the something for everyone version of music programming. I think that the confusion was a form of relaxing the mind to get it ready for the total Disney immersion. As an hypnotherapist, I know that when we occupy the conscious mind, the subconscious opens up and becomes more receptive. I could name a thousand things at Disney that could put you in that receptive mind-frame. Be careful of the bus you board, and what you become receptive to.

Weight Loss and Social X-Rays

Everyone wants to know how to lose weight. Well, that's what they say. First question - do you really need to lose weight or are you unhappy with your internal image of your body? If you really need to lose weight, let's talk about it. If you are fitting in your clothes nicely, they are a reasonable size and you still just don't like the way you look in the mirror, chances are it is a body image situation. I recently attended a 50th birthday party for a friend. My friend is a normal sized woman. She exercises, takes care of herself, etc. No problem there. However, a number of her friends are very thin.

When these thin friends realized that I am a hypnotherapist who works with people to lose weight, they became my new best friend. "Please tell me how to lose weight... It is such a struggle for me....Weight has been an issue my entire life, etc."

I empathize. It is clear that this is a priority for the women I was speaking with. They place that issue first and foremost in their minds. It is the beacon that lights their way, and the pain that dogs at their heels. They are all beautiful, but feel like the need help. At first, I felt that they did not need hypnotherapy, psychotherapy or nutritional counseling. After all, they seem to have it under control.

Interestingly, though, when I discussed this with one of my daughters, she had a very insightful perspective. She suggested that maybe they do need some type of counseling. Perhaps their eating could be disordered. Clearly their body image is distorted. Their problem might not be binge eating but it certainly could be a severe lack of self-esteem or obsessive thoughts of some type that drive them toward an impossible or unhealthy perfection.

As we flip through the glossy magazines or watch those very thin social x-rays (Tom Wolfe's term for ultra-thin society women - personified by socialite Nan Kempner, above - they disappear when they turn sideways), let's try to keep in mind that we are beautiful, that beauty is so much more than our flesh. Beauty is in the tone of our voice, the swing of our step, the way we carry ourselves, and, so significantly, in the way we treat others and ourselves.

Be gentle, loving and kind to yourself and to others and you are beautiful.

I Still Love My Ovaries

Talk about shock value. I visited with my doctor last week, who suggested I might want to cut out my ovaries. "We just go in through your belly button and snip snip!" What? Did I hear you right? It was that abrupt. She seemed so enthusiastic that I wanted to say to her - "hey, why don't we do it together? We could go get waffles at IHop afterward - make a day of it! Fun!"

Honestly, I am not ready for this. I consider myself a young woman. My mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer at 53. I am 50. So this is what I said to the doctor. "Well then, lets do a BRACA blood test." Now this is a little more reasonable. Let's give it a whirl. I stuck out my arm and the nurse took a couple vials of blood to whisk away to Myriad Labs. Just for the record, my mother did not have BRCA 1 or 2, but another fun variant that the genetic counselor says that 10 years after her death still is not a variant that indicates any increased risk for cancer.

I remember telling my mom at the time that we should call it Jeanne's Variant, after her. She did not find it too amusing. We still are not sure why Mom ended up first with breast then with the ovarian cancer that she struggled with and eventually succumbed to at the age of just 61 in 1999.

There is still so much we don't know about ovarian cancer. If cutting out my ovaries is the right thing to do, I'll do it. Jury is still out.